So Cold
by Gurubiness
Summary: Touya and Jin return to the Makai to find that it's nearly empty. Touya breaks down. My first romance, my first angst! Sorry it sucks! Written to So Cold by Breaking Benjamin. JINXTOUYA SHOUNEN AI


Moony: OKAY, ALL! This is my first thing since, like, EVER, and my first romance story... Don't be TOO harsh when you flame me... Three of my friends said I should post it... --blink-- Anyway... I know there's a lot of repitition in the dialogue and the plot-line is kinda jumpy, but ye gotta let me off the hook, man! U.U Ano... Yeah. This was written to the song "So Cold" by Breaking Benjamin, hence the title, so it would PROBABLY help if you listened to it while reading... Yeah... So... um... Read and Review! Enjoy! --smiles--

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" I's all gonna be okay, Toy… I's all gonna be… jus' fine…"

Everything was eerily quiet. Everything was uncomfortably empty. The once bustling streets of the Makai, once brimming with the irony of street vendors and thieves living to-gether, was now empty and nearly silent; and all but creepy, though what does one expect in a realm full of demons….

The two men walked along the empty streets, the dust being kicked up by their feet giving the land a minute feeling of life. Both had an unearthly, pensive, sad expression on their faces; of course they did, though, for their paradox of "a paradise in Hell" had disappeared, in a sense….

Every sect, every dojo they'd known of they had visited, searching for evidence of any semi-decent demon that they knew. Reisho, Gama, Ruka, Bakken… All gone. Semi-decent demons, friends from their shinobi sect, all killed off... Chuu, Suzuka, Rinku, even Shishi Wakamaru, all were nowhere to be found within the Makai. Those were the near epitomes of decent and respectable, ethical demons; the heroes of Makai, if you would, mixed in with all the damnedest fiends. Reisho's gang had decided to abandon Jin and Touya because of their sacrilegious relationship. Chuu and the rest had accepted them. They didn't care.

One night, the four of them had left to go drinking while Jin and Touya were outside training, and they just never came back. The two shinobi had gone into the Ningenkai, came back several hour later, come to find that their whole world had completely; empty. No Chuu, no Rinku… No Suzuka, no Shishi…. Touya fell to the ground crying. He had found light, not just Jin, but the other friends he now lived with and had grew to love; and now the light was snatched away, as it had been several times before.

His form shook violently, tears running down his cheeks freezing almost imminently upon his rose tinted cheeks. Jin embraced him, held him tight against his naked chest, which must have seemed to be the warmest thing in all realms on Earth to Touya.

"Touya… Ye'r so cold…?" Touya sobbed as he laced Jin's fingers with his and pulled himself tighter to the wind master.

"Stay like this, Jin." A look of question spread over Jin's face. "Love me, hold me, my hand… I want to capture the light for real… I'm afraid of the darkness… I'm tired of it… I'm tired of being cold, Jin… Make me warm… So… Just stay like this… Light…. And love me…"

Jin stared at him, confused and saddened, sighed noiselessly, and held him tighter, more lovingly, nuzzling his face in Touya's neck.

"I wanted to die in light… I wanted to die respectfully… As a shinobi… not a blasphemer…" Touya's voice was small, muffled against Jin's chest.

"It's not the end…!"

"Yes, it is… The light is gone, as is everything else… It has to be… And I'm a pathetic whelp, a scummy coward, a shame to the word 'ninja,' and I can't do anything about it-about the end… I'm too weak… Too vulnerable…."

"Ye ain't no weakling, Touya…! You're just… afraid…"

"I'm a coward."

"No, ye aren't. An' if ye are, then I am, too. I'm afraid, just like you. But…. It's all gonna be all right! We'll be okay! Haven't we always been?" Jin was assertive, but melancholy, completely out of character. Touya sighed, the light, his friends, were gone, everything, only darkness, and Jin, light in its finest form. It pained him to think about how he had everthing that mattered to him, how he had the world, he had Jin, but how at the same time he had absolutely nothing, and he was empty. He sobbed again.

"I's all right…"

"I want to try again, Jin! I want to love pure! I'm dark, you're light, it's not meant to be! You are pure, while I'm damned…! Help me! I want to be pure; I don't want to be the wretch that I am anymore, Jin! I want to love purely! Jin!" Touya's choked cries echoed through the empty streets.

Jin stroked his lover's head, ran his fingers through Touya's hair, caressed the ice master's cheek, his back, kissed his neck… everything. But it did nothing. Touya lay still, cold as ever, pupil-less eyes staring blankly with no expression or emotion, and Jin could feel Touya's chest pump lightly against his own. It hurt Jin, too. Whatever was hurting Touya, Touya's sad and dismal state, how unobtainable he seemed-it all hurt Jin like nothing ever has in his long, long life.

"Touya… Even though everyone's gone… I wan' ye to keep yer hope!" Jin told him shakily, whispering in his ear… They both knew it was the end. They were being hunted. They just ignored the feeling.

"Hope for the best, expect the worse…?" Touya scoffed.

"No. Hope and expect the best. They'll come back. Everyone will. Now… please… stop cryin' Toy… Yer face is like an iceberg… Stop cryin'…" Jin was empathetic. He couldn't ever knew what Touya was going through, and that hurt him most of all… He could never understand-and he wanted to more than anything-therefore he could never help.

"You're living a fantasy, Jin… Chuu… Rinku… Gama, Reisho, Ruka, Bakken… Even Shishi and Suzuka… They're all dead. You've spent to much time in the Ningenkai. It's poisoned you. You believe what you wish would happen, even though there's no way in Hell that any of it could. You're believing in an empty fairytale, Jin… And I'm sorry." Touya buried his head shamefully in Jin, tears running down his cheeks again, freezing near his mouth. Jin's expression went blank. He shivered, involuntarily.

Touya's body sent out a cold wave and his body froze over further, giving him not the tiniest sliver of warmth. Jin lifted his head, and held Touya's in his hand, kissing him tenderly, tasting the cold, sensing it, checking for any possible warmth in the ice master. Nothing. Even inside of his mouth it was freezing. Jin choked down a sob, realizing for the first time since knowing Touya (he had indeed known the man for centuries, mind you) the ice demon's pain and suffering, realizing what he meant now about light; light gave off warmth… and Touya was eternally damned to e cold, or to be "dark," and not even Jin with all his "light" could fix that. He couldn't even ease it, either… Touya was just a freezing sinner. Nothing to do about it.

What unnerved Jin was that since Touya was so cold, he felt… dead. That hurt Jin, too. But even though he was as cold as a corpse, or colder, Jin could feel the life, Touya's soul pumping through him.

An awkward silence.

"They'll kill me, us, you know. The Shinobi… Jin?" Touya broke it, the noiselessness.

"Yeah I know. But… it can't be helped." Jin smiled wryly and nuzzled Touya's neck again, kissing him all over, now crying himself. How pathetic and out-of-place the two men must have looked, sitting on the ground in an empty town, locked in each other's embrace, crying to one another, showing a grade-A example of ninjitsu blasphemy.

Jin's ears perked up. He could hear them coming, he could sense they're presences mounting on he and his lover rapidly. A single tear ran down his face; on Touya's behalf. Touya knew, too… He held Jin tighter, kissed him more, and Jin did the same.

"It's the end, Jin," Touya said with a sardonic ton, yet still holding back tears.

"Well, not really. If we are blasphemers, then there's always Hell fer us, righ'?" Jin said in the same tone, a bit more playful.

"You can never keep a situation downhearted, can you?" Touya laughed sadly, dryly. "You've been the only one who could make me laugh, Jin…" Touya leaned up and kissed him. The presence was stronger now. The shinobi were only about a mile or two away, and they moved fast… a few blocks, now.

"Will ye die in the dark, Toy? Will ye still be cold as Death?" Jin asked, his voice deeper then usual in sombreness and concern.

"As I'm damned to do, Jin. But I'm dying with the epitome of light, so it must be close enough."

"…I love ye, Touya. I couldn't say it before. But now I can. I-Love-You!" The emptiness inside Touya dwindled. He ha reached his long-awaited contentment.

"I'm so cold, Jin. I'm sorry." Defenceless were they both. The shuriken were flying from their fellow shinobi. They hit Jin's back, kunai knives being thrown as well. Fire produced by ninjitsu magicks licked at Touya's body.

"We'll try again in Hell…" Jin coughed though his pain. The blades flew at Touya.

"I'm sorry…!" Touya sobbed as he hit the ground face first. Jin choked as he died:

"It's all right…" Touya was the last thing he saw. The small smile forming on his lover's lips, how Touya died with a smile. Tragic.

" That one was as cold as the dead, they say… That ice master."

"Ironic. Now he is."

"Good riddance, I say. Blasphemers, sinning faggots."

They walked away, one young shinobi straying behind for one last look of curiosity, and said a tiny prayer for the two sinners.

"So cold…"

_**Fin**_


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